This past weekend, I saw the most beautiful woman. And my children saw her. And my husband saw her. And my friends saw her. She was not a super-model. She was not on a TV show. She was not a celebrity of any sorts. You see, the world may not look at her and think that she is beautiful. In fact, the world may just look right past her. But, I pray that my family, especially my children, will not ignore the lesson that she taught us.
My grandmother always said, "Beauty is as beauty does." The older I get, the more truth I find in that statement. Beauty does not act selfishly. Beauty puts others ahead of herself. Beauty does not constantly look for the bad in others. Beauty finds good. Beauty does not walk past the hurting. Beauty sacrifices her time and energy to care.
So, what exactly did we see this past weekend? We saw a man who had a stroke almost a year ago. We saw a man who used to be the life of the party who no longer can stand without assistance. We saw a man who used to sing praises to His King every Sunday in choir who can no longer utter the words that he wants to say. We saw a man who used to wrap his arms around his wife, who can no longer use his right arm at all. And we saw a man who had a beautiful woman beside him.
His wife greeted us at the door. She graciously invited us in. She hugged each of us, and marveled at how our children had grown. We entered with butterflies in our stomachs, because we knew that he would not be the same. He sat on the couch, and the tears flowed freely. His tears of mourning the life that he knew. His tears of frustration of not being able to verbally express himself. And our tears started. Tears of joy of seeing dear friends again. Tears of anger, questioning why in the world this happened.
And then the music started. Victory in Jesus....Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)....10,000 Reasons....God of the Mountain....Glory in the Highest. We sang when we could....between the tears. And he sang with us. He didn't form the words, but he was certainly praising His Lord, and humming the tunes.
And as his tears flowed, the beauty became apparent. She got out of her seat. She went to another room, and returned with tissues. And she sat on the arm of the sofa and wiped his tears. She put her arm around him, and she comforted him. She loved him the best that she could by caring for him, and just being there for him. She wrote down songs that we sang that would encourage her, and her husband, when they were having a bad day.
You see, though he was the victim of a horrible stroke, she was every bit as much the victim. When his life changed, her's did, too. She no longer has the freedom to go to the grocery store when she realizes she needs milk. She no longer can get in the shower without making sure that he is settled and comfortable. She no longer can be surrounded on Sunday mornings by the church family that loves her so much. And she no longer can have normal conversations with her lifemate.
But she is beautiful. And I pray that my children, especially my daughters, saw it. I pray that they saw the honor and love that comes from a wife who is fully-devoted to her Lord and to her husband. I pray that they saw that bad times don't mean you can just walk out, or give up. I pray that they saw that love is about more than emotions, or happiness. I pray that they will remember as they grow up and think about getting married that they must make a committment "for better or worse." That "worse" may not be something as bad as a stroke. It may just be an argument. Or a month full of arguments. That "worse" may be that you don't feel like you can love him anymore. But yet the beautiful bride....the beautiful woman that God has created...she stays. And she serves. And she loves.
Beauty is as beauty does. May we choose to be beautiful by choosing to "do" beautiful.
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." (Proverbs 31:10-12)
