Our youngest child has recently started throwing tantrums. She doesn't kick and hit the ground, but she definitely lets us know she doesn't like what we have done. She will lay her body down, face down, and cry. She will refuse to do anything else. Sometimes you may even hear a "No, no, no, no" mixed in there. At the young age of 18 months, Chloe Beth is already showing us that she believes that if things don't go her way, then things just shouldn't "go" at all.
I have had the privelege of serving in the nursery at our church the past several weeks. While there, I have the opportunity to observe Chloe Beth, and a bunch of other young children, interacting with each other. And there is one phrase I can use to describe them: self-serving. They believe, with all of their hearts, that the world revolves around them. When it is time to eat, you had better give them food. When it's time for their milk, look out! And when another baby has a toy that they want...well, you'd better be ready to act as a referee. But that's what we expect from babies, right?
So, I walk down the hall to the rooms with the older children. As I enter the room with the three and four-year olds, I see one child sulking at a table. She is upset because a friend doesn't want to play with her. When I dig a little deeper, I find out that her friend doesn't want to play because the "sulker" was hitting and pushing her. I see about 4 boys playing with blocks. And then suddenly a fifth child comes out of nowhere and knocks down the village they have built. And then the nursery worker comes up to me and tells me I need to talk to one boy because he is not listening to her, and she thinks maybe he'll listen to me. So, as the children get older, we start to have higher expectations for them, right?
How many times have you used the line, "What in the world were you thinking?" Or how about, "Why would you do that?" When our children do something completely out of line, we often act shocked. We think, "That child knows better. Why would she think she could do that and get away with it?" I don't think it's because we think our children are perfect, but we just see things from such a different perspective than they do. We can see the potential dangers of jumping off of the trampoline head first. We can see what may happen if they try to have a sword fight using sticks from the backyard. We know what can happen when you talk about your friend behind their back, or you tell a little white lie. We know what measures may have to be taken if you take that pencil that doesn't belong to you.
But yet, over and over again in the news, you see adults...people who have lived for many more years than our children have...making the same mistakes our children do. And we use the same lines. "What in the world were they thinking?" Just turn the news on. Or just go to Walmart. It is scary. But one day I was complaining to my husband about something I had seen and heard, and he said, "Why are we surprised when sinners sin?" Good question, huh?
Why are we surprised? Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is more deceitful than all else, and is deceitfully sick, who can understand it?" We are born sinners. That is made very clear when we are children. No one has to teach us to sin. No one has to teach us to be selfish, or how to disobey our parents. We seem to know how to do that automatically. When we're really young, it's almost kind of cute. But when we're about 3, it's not that cute anymore. And when we're 23, it's definitely not cute. At all.
But, what can we do about it? For sure, until Christ returns, there will always be sin in the world. But how we respond to it is something that can change. First, with our children, I believe we are to discipline. Our jobs are to teach them how to live to be more like Christ. There are so many books and experts out there to help us. The best book, is of course, the Bible. Another book that I am about to dig back out is Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. Every year seems to bring new struggles in the Allen household. Just as we get over one hump in the area of discipline, we approach another. It is an on-going process. And as a good friend often says, I believe it is for our sanctification, just as much as it is for our children's.
Second, how we respond to the world can change. I don't know about you, but I can be quite judgemental. When I see someone doing something I don't agree with, I am quick to spout off just why they are wrong. Darin's statement several years ago humbled me. "Why are we surprised when sinners sin?" I am a sinner. I am lumped in there with them. God has grace on me. Every day. What if, instead of judging them, I prayed for them? What if, instead of criticizing their actions, I prayed that their hearts would be changed? What if, instead of grumbling about them behind their backs, I shared the gospel with them? What if I showed them Jesus?
You see, we are not any better than the people we see on the news that committed murder last night. We're not any better than the people in Congress that struggled with coming up with a budget over the last week. We're not any better than the teenager that got escorted out of Walmart for shoplifting. And we're not any better than the 4-year old that hit his friend because he had the toy he wanted.
"Why are we surprised when sinners sin?" We are born with a sin nature. But if you are in Christ, you are a new creation. (2 Cor. 5:17) And by the blood of Christ, you have been forgiven. And others can be, too. But not if they don't know. And they certainly won't find out if I just stand around and pass judgement and grumble. They certainly won't find out if I just shake my head and wonder how this world got into the mess it's in. I've got some really good news. No -- that's a pretty weak way to say it. I've got the most URGENT message that they will ever hear. Who in the world do I think I am to sit around and complain about their actions instead of praying for them and loving them? It should break my heart for their souls, not infuriate me that they spoke a bad word in front of my children.
I will no longer be surprised that sinners sin. Instead, I will be broken by it.
