Silence is Not So Golden

Silence.  It's one of those things that can be the most wonderful thing in the world.  Or it can be the most not-wonderful thing in the world.  As a mom, silence can mean your kids are peacefully sleeping, or it can mean they are getting into something.  Or everything.  Following moments of silence, I have found permanent marker on carpet, baby powder dumped on bathroom floors, hair "washed" in milk, a little girl with marker "makeup", and even a little boy with painted toenails.  So often, we love the silence.  We long for the silence.  We dream about the silence. But, after the silence, we often find nothing but a mess. 

I was thinking the other day about how silence factors into our relationship with God.  I'm not talking about the times in life that God is silent.  I'm talking about the times that God finds us "silent".  I probably need to be clear:  There is rarely a day that I could ever be called silent.  I love to talk.  But, admittedly, there have been times that I have been silent with God.  There have been days that I have had a lot to say.  A lot of nothing.  A lot of something.  And I am really good at finding friends that will listen. I call when something wonderful happens.  I call when something terrible happens.  I call when I just need to vent some frustrations.  And I call when I just want to share a funny story.  And I love that my friends answer.  I love that I have dear friends in Christ that want to share my life with me.  But, unfortunately, there are days that God would probably say that I've been "silent".  And when I'm silent with God, there's sure to be a mess to clean up.

You see, when I don't turn to God first thing in the morning, I can make a real mess.  Sometimes those messes are easy to clean up, like the baby powder.  Other times, those messes can leave a permanent stain, just like the Sharpie on the carpet. 

I have been the one guilty of waking up, and going straight to the computer to see what might have happened in my friends' lives while I am sleeping. I have been the one guilty of checking the weather, the news, the email, all before I read the Bible.  I have been the one that scurries my kids and husband out the door to school, and then instead of taking a few moments to say "Good Morning" to God, I call my friend.  And the thought of that brings me to tears. 

I have...and you have...this amazing opportunity.  Every single day.  We get to approach the throne of the Most High God.  We get to share our burdens with Him.  And our joys.  And our love. And our lives.  But yet, so many times, I don't.  When something challenging comes up, I run to search Google.  I post on Facebook.  I call my friends.  Too often, God is the last one I turn to.  Maybe it's because I want an immediate answer.  Maybe it's because I don't think I'll like what He has to say.  Or maybe it's just because I am sinful girl who doesn't have my priorities in order. 

Two of my very favorite Bible verses are Hebrews 4:15-16.  "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."  Does that thrill you the way it does me?  If not, you may want to re-read it.  I'm amazed every time.  We can approach God's throne....with confidence! Why in the world do we substitute everything else for His throne?  We get news of a sick loved one.  Approach the throne.  We get an unexpected financial blessing.  Approach the throne.  We need to plan our day.  Approach the throne.  Our kids won't stop fighting. Approach the throne.

I am really good at making messes.  When I cook, my kitchen looks like a war zone.  Why do I think that my life will look any different if I don't bathe everything...and I mean everything...in prayer?  Why do I think that if I don't search my heart to make sure that God is in the very center of every one of my desires that anything will work out right?  It's just plain foolish of me.  God wants us to approach Him. Daily.  He doesn't want us to be silent.  He wants to hear our voices cry out to Him.  He wants to hear our voices rejoice in Him.  And we can do all of that boldly.  With confidence.  Without hesitation. 

And that, my dear friends, is amazing. 

Beauty is as Beauty Does....

This past weekend, I saw the most beautiful woman.  And my children saw her.  And my husband saw her.  And my friends saw her.  She was not a super-model.  She was not on a TV show.  She was not a celebrity of any sorts.  You see, the world may not look at her and think that she is beautiful.  In fact, the world may just look right past her.  But, I pray that my family, especially my children, will not ignore the lesson that she taught us. 

My grandmother always said, "Beauty is as beauty does."  The older I get, the more truth I find in that statement.  Beauty does not act selfishly.  Beauty puts others ahead of herself.  Beauty does not constantly look for the bad in others.  Beauty finds good.  Beauty does not walk past the hurting.  Beauty sacrifices her time and energy to care. 

So, what exactly did we see this past weekend?  We saw a man who had a stroke almost a year ago.  We saw a man who used to be the life of the party who no longer can stand without assistance.  We saw a man who used to sing praises to His King every Sunday in choir who can no longer utter the words that he wants to say.  We saw a man who used to wrap his arms around his wife, who can no longer use his right arm at all.  And we saw a man who had a beautiful woman beside him. 

His wife greeted us at the door.  She graciously invited us in.  She hugged each of us, and marveled at how our children had grown.  We entered with butterflies in our stomachs, because we knew that he would not be the same.  He sat on the couch, and the tears flowed freely.  His tears of mourning the life that he knew.  His tears of frustration of not being able to verbally express himself.  And our tears started.  Tears of joy of seeing dear friends again.  Tears of anger, questioning why in the world this happened. 

And then the music started.  Victory in Jesus....Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)....10,000 Reasons....God of the Mountain....Glory in the Highest.  We sang when we could....between the tears.  And he sang with us.  He didn't form the words, but he was certainly praising His Lord, and humming the tunes. 

And as his tears flowed, the beauty became apparent.  She got out of her seat.  She went to another room, and returned with tissues.  And she sat on the arm of the sofa and wiped his tears.  She put her arm around him, and she comforted him.  She loved him the best that she could by caring for him, and just being there for him.  She wrote down songs that we sang that would encourage her, and her husband, when they were having a bad day. 

You see, though he was the victim of a horrible stroke, she was every bit as much the victim.  When his life changed, her's did, too.  She no longer has the freedom to go to the grocery store when she realizes she needs milk.  She no longer can get in the shower without making sure that he is settled and comfortable.  She no longer can be surrounded on Sunday mornings by the church family that loves her so much.  And she no longer can have normal conversations with her lifemate. 

But she is beautiful.  And I pray that my children, especially my daughters, saw it.  I pray that they saw the honor and love that comes from a wife who is fully-devoted to her Lord and to her husband.  I pray that they saw that bad times don't mean you can just walk out, or give up.  I pray that they saw that love is about more than emotions, or happiness.  I pray that they will remember as they grow up and think about getting married that they must make a committment "for better or worse." That "worse" may not be something as bad as a stroke.  It may just be an argument. Or a month full of arguments.  That "worse" may be that you don't feel like you can love him anymore.  But yet the beautiful bride....the beautiful woman that God has created...she stays.  And she serves.  And she loves. 

Beauty is as beauty does. May we choose to be beautiful by choosing to "do" beautiful. 

"A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." (Proverbs 31:10-12)

 

Who, Me?

So, it happened again.  I'm reading a Bible story that I've read probably 39 times.  And I'm really just kind of reading it because I'm trying to get my daily "assignment" done for my "Read Through the Bible in a Year" plan.  You know the drill.  In my mind, I'm just counting the number of verses to go before I can turn my light off and fall asleep. And then, BOOM!  Something jumps out at me.  And I see some words in a whole new light.  And I sit, amazed.  God's Word is living.  And active.  And sharper than any two-edged sword.

One of the primary areas in my life that has been lacking over the past several years is my witnessing attempts.  You see, as a minister's wife, it's really easy to get "comfortable".  It's really easy to look around and say, "Well, I'm really involved in the church.  My husband is crazy-busy.  I need to support him.  That's my ministry." And while yes, that's true, I've recently been convicted that that's not enough.  In all honesty, I think I was really using that as an excuse. 

When it comes to witnessing, I've typically taken the "lifestyle evangelism" road.  You know, the line we all pull out when we don't want to have any confrontations.  Don't get me wrong.  I believe that our first line of evangelism HAS to be lifestyle evangelism.  We have to be living what we're saying.  We have to be above reproach so that world doesn't sneer in our faces.  But it can't stop there.  We have to TALK.  And we have to share.  And we have to open ourselves up to the idea that someone might laugh at us.  Someone might get mad.  And someone might even get saved.  Someone might hear words that they have been longing to hear for 57 years: Someone loves them.  Someone cares for them.  Someone wants to have a relationship with them. 

So, back to the Bible story.  It's in Exodus, and God is basically commissioning Moses to go rescue His people from the land of Egypt.  God tells Moses what he is supposed to say and do.  But Moses was stuck.  He couldn't figure out why God wanted to use him.  He wasn't an eloquent speaker.  In his own words, he was "slow of speech and slow of tongue."  But the problem was, he wasn't just being humble.  He was actually questioning the words of the Lord.  God called him, and Moses said, "Who, me?" 

How many times do we do that?  God puts someone in our path, and we feel a gentle nudging.  "Talk to her, Amy.  Ask her if she knows Me.  Ask her if there's anything you can pray about for her."  And we say, "No."  We say, "I don't know what to say.  What if I mess up?  What if they get mad?  What if they make fun of me?"  And so we let the moment pass. But the problem is, it's more than just letting the moment pass.  We've actually been disobedient.  I shudder to think of how many times I have been disobedient.

Here is the cool thing, though.  Moses said, "Who, me?" And God said, "Yes, YOU!"  God didn't put up with his excuses, or his silly thoughts that he couldn't do what God asked him to do.  Instead, He told him, "Who has made man's mouth?  Or who has made him mute or deaf or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now then, go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth and teach you what you are to say." (Exodus 4:11-12) And the other night, when I read that, God slapped me upside the head, and said, "Silly woman.  If I call you to do something, I will equip you, and I will be with you!"  Now, isn't that just the berries?!?  Isn't that amazing?  God calls us to be His witnesses.  He calls us to share HIM with the world.  And all of the worries, and anxieties, and excuses that we can come up with don't stand.  They're irrevelant, because the very God who made our mouths goes with us. 

I don't have to feel like I'm the most eloquent speaker in the world.  I don't have to have all of my words in just the right place.  God called me to be His witness when He saved me. And when He saved you, He called you to be His witness. We just need to trust in the One who calls us.  And know that He, even He, will be with our mouths and will teach us what we are to say. And that's stinkin' awesome.

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you shall be my witnesses both in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth." (Acts 1:8)

Growing Pains

The school year has started.  Two weeks ago, I sent Caylie and Garrett off for their first day of school as a fourth grader and a first grader.  And I stood in wonder as I watched them walk into their classrooms.  Where in the world has the time gone?  Wasn't it just yesterday that I found out I was expecting them?  I walked back to our apartment, (which is right across the parking lot from their new school), and sat looking at Chloe Beth for a few minutes, wondering what I would do when she started school. 

I'll never forget Caylie's first day of Kindergarten.  I walked her down the infinitely long hall.  Garrett, two at the time, was with us.  We walked into the classroom, found her desk, and greeted the teacher.  I made sure she was settled, and then started out the door.  Feeling the tears starting, and knowing full-well that I didn't want her to see me cry, I hurried to the door.  I scooped Garrett up, and started the long walk back to the car.  And the tears started.  But, folks, they weren't just tears.  I was doing the kind of crying that makes your face all deformed.  And I could barely see where I was going.  Ok, I was almost sobbing.  How would she open her Capri Sun?  Would she know where the bathroom was?  To put it in terms my Southerners will understand, I was a mess.  As we continued our walk, sweet Garrett patted me on the back, and in his little two-year old voice said, "It okay, Momma.  Sissy be right back." 

The day continued.  And continued.  And continued.  I really think it was one of the longest days in the history of the world.  But, when I went back to pick her up, she was smiling and happy.  She had a great day, and couldn't wait to go back!

Fast forward three years, and it was Garrett's turn.  I really thought I would be better off with him.  You know, I was, shall we say, experienced.  But, I cried the whole way home.  I cried most of the morning. But, at the end of the day, just like Caylie, he loved it. 

There are so many emotions that parenting brings with it, and the struggle to let go as our kids grow up is certainly one of them.  Even though our oldest is only 9, I can already feel it starting.  But there is an important lesson that I believe we need to grasp hold of while our kids are young, to make is easier on them, and ourselves, as they get older.  And that lesson is this:  Our most important job, as parents, is to help our children become disciples of Christ.  Period. 

Right about now, a lot of you are saying, "Well, duh, Amy.  We already know that."  And to that, I say, "Great!"  But, sometimes I need to be reminded about what that entails.  Or maybe it's better to say what that does not entail.  That does not always entail them becoming a musician or a football player or whatever dream you have for them just because you want them to.  That does not always entail your children living within a 2-mile radius of you forever.  That does not always entail them becoming a doctor or a lawyer.  That does not entail them always getting straight A's.  (I can almost hear some of you gasping!)  That does not always even entail them going to college.  (And now some of you may even just stop reading....) 

But friends, if we're honest, we know this.  Being a disciple of Christ means we're completely and positively sold out for Christ.  We're following Him with EVERY aspect of our lives.  And that means we're letting Him lead us.  So, if we're training our children to be disiples of Christ, then we must look at their lives differently than the world does.  The world tells our kids over and over again of the things that they "need".  We know that there is only One thing that they need. 

So, as Christian parents, how should we pray?  First, I am going to pray that my children will all come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ as not only their Savior, but as their Lord.  I want them to run after Him with everything they've got.  And I want them to live for Him alone.  I don't want them to be "people pleasers", but to focus on the one Person that matters.  Second, I am going to start praying for God to remove my desires for my children and replace them with His desires.  Thirdly, I am going to pray that God will use them.  What an honor for us as parents to know that God could use our tiny little vessels that we have worked on and poured our lives into for years and years!  And God can use them in any career that He chooses from teaching to factory work to missionary work to yard work.  He can even take it further and use them in the local church, on mission trips, and in local evangelism and outreach. 

Parenting is hard.  Seeing your kids grow up is even harder.  It seems like the time goes by so fast.  But, as I keep reminding myself, that's what is supposed to happen. Our kids are given to us as babies.  And our job is to help them grow.  And teach them God's ways.  And then they grow up.  Yes, we're always their parents.  But, the older they get, the more our roles change.  (At least, in some areas, I hope.  I don't want to have to be reminding Garrett to wash his hands when he's 35!)  Growing pains hurt.  But good comes from them.


"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

Lessons from a Cartoon

It was a Saturday, and that means my kids were watching kids’ shows.  I had been working around the house, and decided to sit down and take a break.  And I started paying attention to the show they were watching.  It was an animated story about Jonah.  I have studied the book of Jonah in detail with my Ladies' Bible Study group, but still something about this animated version spoke to my heart.  And then, on Sunday morning, our pastor continued his sermon series on the book of Jonah, and it just so happened that he was preaching on the exact part of the book that I watched on the cartoon.  I had started the blog on Saturday night and then changed my mind about writing it, but after hearing the sermon, I realized that God really did have a lesson for me...and maybe for some of you.   

Just a quick synopsis:  God wanted Jonah to go to Ninevah to tell the people to repent.  Jonah said no.  God said yes.  So, Jonah ended up in the belly of a big fish.  Then Jonah had another chance. This time he said ok.  So he went to Ninevah.  But his attitude was still pretty stinky.  He didn’t think that it was very fair for God to forgive the people of Ninevah after all they had done to the Israelites.  Jonah couldn’t believe that if they repented they could be forgiven.  Basically, Jonah still had such a hardened heart toward the people of Ninevah, that he didn’t want them to taste the goodness of the Lord.  He didn’t want them to have the same opportunity that he did for forgiveness and eternal life. 

And we look back at the story of Jonah and we just shake our heads, ashamed that Jonah would feel this way, don’t we?  We think, “Wow!  Can you believe he wouldn’t want those people to be right with God?” What was Jonah’s issue?  Was it hatred?  Was it bitterness?  What could make someone cry out, “It is better for me to die!”  He looked at the people of Ninevah and told God that he would rather die than see God forgive them.  Wow.  That's a pretty bold statement, isn't it?  I believe that it was hatred and bitterness, but I believe that all of these ill-feelings toward the Ninevites stemmed from one key problem:  Jonah was self-righteous.  He thought that he, and the rest of the Israelites, were better than any of the people from Ninevah.  According to Jonah, the Israelites were well-deserving of the forgiveness and love that God had bestowed upon them.  He seemed to forget about the years and years of disobedience in the nation of Israel.  He also seemed to forget about the short time he spent in the belly of the fish. 

Self-righteousness can rear its ugly head all over the place.  And it’s not always something as “drastic” as what Jonah did.  We don’t have to be angry that an entire people have been given the news of repentance.  Sometimes self-righteousness comes in the form of tattling.  My children are good at that!  Sometimes self-righteousness comes in the form of complaining about others.  We don’t like the way they do things, we don’t like choices they’ve made, or we don’t like them personally, so we think we’re better than them.   And sometimes self-righteousness just comes in the form of unforgiveness and bitterness.  When we feel like someone has wronged us or someone we love, we often hold that bitterness in our hearts and think that we can’t or shouldn’t forgive them because it will “let them off the hook.”

God’s Word tells us that “There is none righteous, not even one.”  (Rom. 3:10).  Period.  I’m not better than you.  You’re not better than me.  But for the blood of Christ, we would all be doomed to spend eternity in hell.  But, praise God, He made a way.  And to be honest with you, there is something freeing in admitting that I’m not better.  That I have my own failures.  That I have my own faults.  And also in knowing that you all do, too.  We are on the same level.  We don’t have to play games.  We don’t have to pretend we’re something we’re not. We can be real and accept one another for who we are…and love one another as we grow to be more like Christ every day.  Because you see, accepting that we have faults is not enough.  We have a goal…a prize…that we are striving toward.  We don’t want to stay the same!  We want to be like Christ.  In fact, I want to be more like Christ tomorrow than I was today.  Don’t you? 

So, how can we guard ourselves against being a Jonah?  How can we keep ourselves from being self-righteous and pouty, like he was when he sat outside the city gates?  First, acknowledge that you have faults.  We all do.  And that’s ok!  Remember, God is the potter and we are the clay.  He is molding us into the person He wants us to be.  That takes time, and that takes work.  And that takes us being malleable.  Second, be willing to forgive.  When someone wrongs you, whether it’s something small like pulling out in front of you, or something terrible, be willing to forgive.  And notice, you can choose to forgive without hearing an apology.  I promise…it works.  Third, be willing to humble yourself.  This may come in the way of serving others, of apologizing, or of just acknowledging that you were wrong in your views.

 I don’t believe that self-righteous people think that they are self-righteous.  I think Jonah thought he was completely justified.  And that’s why we need to be so very careful.  It is one of those sins that can sneak up on you.  Most of the time, I don’t think we even realize we’re doing it.  We're just moving along, passing judgement on others, and then it hits us.  And it’s serious.  Remember God’s words to Jonah.  “Do you have good reason to be angry?”  Ouch.  Can you imagine hearing those words directly from God?  I think I would just want to crawl under a rock!  Jonah probably wished something similar....or maybe he just wanted to be back inside that great big belly.  Don't be a Jonah.  We are never told that his heart changed.  I don't want that to be my legacy.  Do you?

The Tie-Dyed Bunny

We've all been there.  You run in to the grocery store to pick up just a few items for supper.  Unfortunately, you have the kids with you.  (Those of you with young children know exactly why I use the word "unfortunately.")  You have just entered the store and it begins.  "It" has been going on for years.  Your parents know about "it".  Your grandparents know about "it".  Since the beginning of time, "it" has happened.  "Mommy!  Look!  I NNNNEEEEDDDDD  that!"  You turn your head.  And you see it...a bright red tie-dyed, bigger-than-life Easter bunny with a 75% off sticker on it.  Oh, and it's holding jelly beans that are starting to discolor.  The discoloring is occuring because Easter was approximately 7 weeks ago.  You reply, "No."  And keep moving.  And "it" keeps happening.  The sugary cereal.  The donuts. The books in the giant bin that say "VALUE!"   And then you make it to the check-out.  Only to have your children be enticed by Kit-Kats, plastic "cell phones", and Funyuns.  You are exhausted by the time you make it to the car.  And you are ready to pull your hair out.  You do, after all, have a rule.  "We will NOT buy anything that is not on my list.  Do NOT ask for anything."  How easily that rule is forgotten. 

Grocery shopping is just one of the many activities that we do with our children that teach them about money.  It can be a great lesson in budgeting, self-control, and frugality.  It can also be a great lesson in God's provision.  For those that know me well, you know that I am a money person.  I studied finance in college and I have worked in banking, in bookkeeping, and am the "chief accountant" for Allen Family Enterprises.  But the Holy Spirit has been convicting me lately.  And unfortunately, with today's drive toward "extreme couponing" and the like, I believe we all need to stand on guard. 

You see, money is not evil.  The Bible tells us in 1 Timothy 6:10 that the LOVE of money is the root of all sorts of evil.  I always viewed that verse as one for two groups of people:  the "wealthy" and the "wanna-be wealthy."  The wealthy, well, they are the ones that could go in a grocery store and buy their kids whatever they asked for.  And the wanna-be wealthy, are the ones that don't care who or what they step on to get to the top.  Wealth is all they care about.  It's not that I didn't think the verse applied to me, I just thought, "Hey, I've got this!  I'm a money person.  I'm frugal.  I certainly don't love money!" 

But, within the last couple of weeks, God has shown me something.  We can make an idol out of money no matter what our bank statement looks like.  If we don't have enough, and we worry constantly about it, we are making an idol out of it.  If we have plenty, and we worry that it will go away, we are making an idol out of it. If we are comfortable, but yet we spend too much time or energy on saving money, we are making an idol out of it.  And then there are the "money martyrs", as I like to call them.  We all know people like this.  These are the folks who feel like they have to prove to everyone that they don't have as much money as everyone else, although to look at their homes or their cars, you may be able to argue with them.  They have the whole "woe is me" attitude.  But often, they are using a disguise.  They actually are trying to say, "Holy is me.  See me?  I don't make money an idol, because I don't have as much as my neighbor down the street."  But the unfortunate thing is, they are making an idol out of money just as much as the next person.

Please don't misunderstand me. I love coupons.  I love ad-matching.  I love clearance racks.  And I will never pay full price for a car.  God blesses us, and we are to be good stewards of WHATEVER He gives us.  And we are to be content with whatever He gives us. (Hebrews 13:5).  But, I have learned in the past couple of weeks that sometimes I make money an idol when I actually think that I'm looking for a bargain.  When I spend more time couponing than spending time with God.  When I drive across town to save $.30 on milk when I wasted more than that on gas.  When I make it a point to prove to someone that I didn't pay as much for something as they think I did. 

So, back to the kids.  I know they think I am mean at times.  I know they think I am just withholding glorious riches from them.  I am an absolute stickler about not buying them things when they are at the store with me.  I go with a purpose, and a list.  And I am determined to not go over my budget. I think that with my conviction about not making an idol out of money came another conviction:  I need to teach my kids about the same thing. I need to teach them how to budget, and how to pay attention to prices.  But most of all, I need to teach them about God's provision.  I need to show them the story in the Bible of the 2 fish and 5 loaves.  They need to hear about the Israelites and the manna. There may be a time that we don't eat our choice foods.  There may be a time that we don't have our favorite clothes.  There may be a time that we don't have a home.  But, God is still God.  And He will still provide.  He provides salvation, joy, patience and long-suffering.  And He provides grace.   

Yes, I know times are tough.  I know gas prices are crazy.  I know that causes grocery prices to increase, and then everything starts that upward trend.  But I also know who is God. And I know what His Word says, "Do not worry, saying "What will we eat?" or "What will we drink?" or "What will we wear for clothing?"...For your Heavenly Father knows that you need all these things." (Matthew 6:31-32)  May we always rest in His unchanging goodness, and trust in His unfailing love.  Even when we don't get the tie-dyed bunny. 

Why Are We Surprised?

Our youngest child has recently started throwing tantrums.  She doesn't kick and hit the ground, but she definitely lets us know she doesn't like what we have done.  She will lay her body down, face down, and cry.  She will refuse to do anything else.  Sometimes you may even hear a "No, no, no, no" mixed in there.  At the young age of 18 months, Chloe Beth is already showing us that she believes that if things don't go her way, then things just shouldn't "go" at all. 

I have had the privelege of serving in the nursery at our church the past several weeks.  While there, I have the opportunity to observe Chloe Beth, and a bunch of other young children, interacting with each other.  And there is one phrase I can use to describe them:  self-serving.  They believe, with all of their hearts, that the world revolves around them.  When it is time to eat, you had better give them food.  When it's time for their milk, look out!  And when another baby has a toy that they want...well, you'd better be ready to act as a referee.  But that's what we expect from babies, right? 

So, I walk down the hall to the rooms with the older children.  As I enter the room with the three and four-year olds, I see one child sulking at a table.  She is upset because a friend doesn't want to play with her.  When I dig a little deeper, I find out that her friend doesn't want to play because the "sulker" was hitting and pushing her.  I see about 4 boys playing with blocks.  And then suddenly a fifth child comes out of nowhere and knocks down the village they have built.  And then the nursery worker comes up to me and tells me I need to talk to one boy because he is not listening to her, and she thinks maybe he'll listen to me. So, as the children get older, we start to have higher expectations for them, right? 

How many times have you used the line, "What in the world were you thinking?"  Or how about, "Why would you do that?"  When our children do something completely out of line, we often act shocked.  We think, "That child knows better.  Why would she think she could do that and get away with it?"  I don't think it's because we think our children are perfect, but we just see things from such a different perspective than they do.  We can see the potential dangers of jumping off of the trampoline head first.  We can see what may happen if they try to have a sword fight using sticks from the backyard.  We know what can happen when you talk about your friend behind their back, or you tell a little white lie.  We know what measures may have to be taken if you take that pencil that doesn't belong to you. 

But yet, over and over again in the news, you see adults...people who have lived for many more years than our children have...making the same mistakes our children do.  And we use the same lines.  "What in the world were they thinking?"  Just turn the news on.  Or just go to Walmart.  It is scary. But one day I was complaining to my husband about something I had seen and heard, and he said, "Why are we surprised when sinners sin?"  Good question, huh?

Why are we surprised?  Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is more deceitful than all else, and is deceitfully sick, who can understand it?"  We are born sinners.  That is made very clear when we are children.  No one has to teach us to sin.  No one has to teach us to be selfish, or how to disobey our parents.  We seem to know how to do that automatically.  When we're really young, it's almost kind of cute.  But when we're about 3, it's not that cute anymore.  And when we're 23, it's definitely not cute.  At all.

But, what can we do about it?  For sure, until Christ returns, there will always be sin in the world.  But how we respond to it is something that can change.  First, with our children, I believe we are to discipline.  Our jobs are to teach them how to live to be more like Christ.  There are so many books and experts out there to help us.  The best book, is of course, the Bible.  Another book that I am about to dig back out is Shepherding a Child's Heart  by Tedd Tripp.  Every year seems to bring new struggles in the Allen household.  Just as we get over one hump in the area of discipline, we approach another.  It is an on-going process.  And as a good friend often says, I believe it is for our sanctification, just as much as it is for our children's. 

Second, how we respond to the world can change.  I don't know about you, but I can be quite judgemental.  When I see someone doing something I don't agree with, I am quick to spout off just why they are wrong.  Darin's statement several years ago humbled me.  "Why are we surprised when sinners sin?"  I am a sinner.  I am lumped in there with them.  God has grace on me.  Every day.  What if, instead of judging them, I prayed for them?  What if, instead of criticizing their actions, I prayed that their hearts would be changed?  What if, instead of grumbling about them behind their backs, I shared the gospel with them?  What if I showed them Jesus? 

You see, we are not any better than the people we see on the news that committed murder last night.  We're not any better than the people in Congress that struggled with coming up with a budget over the last week.  We're not any better than the teenager that got escorted out of Walmart for shoplifting.  And we're not any better than the 4-year old that hit his friend because he had the toy he wanted. 

"Why are we surprised when sinners sin?"  We are born with a sin nature.  But if you are in Christ, you are a  new creation.  (2 Cor. 5:17)  And by the blood of Christ, you have been forgiven.  And others can be, too.  But not if they don't know.  And they certainly won't find out if I just stand around and pass judgement and grumble.  They certainly won't find out if I just shake my head and wonder how this world got into the mess it's in.   I've got some really good news.  No -- that's a pretty weak way to say it.  I've got the most URGENT message that they will ever hear.  Who in the world do I think I am to sit around and complain about their actions instead of praying for them and loving them?  It should break my heart for their souls, not infuriate me that they spoke a bad word in front of my children. 

I will no longer be surprised that sinners sin.  Instead, I will be broken by it.